Monday, October 31, 2005 -

honestly, i dont feel good in any way.
well dont expect others to treat u well even though u went an extra mile to help them.
the truth just freaking hurts.

Well you done done me and you bet i felt it. I tried to be chill but you so hot that i melted. I fell right through the cracks and i'm tryin to get back before the cool done run out i'll be givin it my bestest and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention. I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some.

Well open up your mind and see like me. Open up your plans and damn you're free. Look into your heart and you'll find love love love. Listen to the music of the moment maybe seen with me. I love peaceful melodie. It's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved.

So, i won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait i'm sure. There's no need to complicate our time is short.
This is our fate, i'm yours.

I guess what I'm a saying is there ain't no better reason to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons.

theres no kite. theres no ice box.
how bad can things get?

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 10:55 PM

Sunday, October 30, 2005 -

as im typing this, Wonka Nerds Rope is hanging frm my mouth :D
its so god damn nice lar! irresistable baby!
chewy gummy and crunchy nerds.
*gobbles everything down.

oh and i have the Cadbury BrunchBar for errr... brunch?
HAHA.
taste like uncle toby's choco bar but still bagus *do thumbs up sign (:

had lots of fun with GEE darling today!
thnks girl! *hugs
and you better master the earrings/bracelets/neecklaces/brooch skills quickly.
then i can help u advertise (: i got a bigger circle of friends then you. alright im just kidding.
dont u know i make a very ideal business partner?

if i dont turn up with a kite on tues, my head can be prepared to roll on the floor. *boing boing.

i forgot abt 'you got served'!!!
ARGHHH.
can somebody pls just shoot me.

uploaded photos to myphotoalbum too.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 10:38 PM

hello, i think i ate a cow today.
how now brown cow? :D

had marina steamboat with yh, hc and sher. lalala.
that hc didnt expected the steamboat to be in a non-aircon and open air space. all along she thought it was some kinda posh restaurant with fantastic ambience! hahha, okay kidding.
omg u shld have seen her face when we describe the place to her.
she raised her eyebrows and jay dropped. o_O
sorry dude, we didnt mean to lie to you:D cause we thought u knew wat!
i feel so chicken-y and prawn-y now. *pouts ):
yh only cared abt her hotdogs.
sher prefers the veges to meat.
hc dislikes chicken fats so she was in charge of pork.
the remains of 8 prawns are scattered in my bloated stomach. (:

half the time was spent in arcades.
we played king of fighters, bishi bashi (yh is good at this, bet she plays it everyday), crazy taxi, time crisis and air hockey!!! whoohooo :D i love.
its just now hc's day today. either her C button spoil or the joystick is not working.
thats not the worse. theres once where the buttons AND the joystick both broke down!
wah lao, how suay can you get man.

hop over to esplanade for hagen daz ice cream.
mango sorbet, midnight cookies and cream, chocolate chip and chocolate with caramel makes a fantabulous combination.
*lick lips :D
this small boy was pretty wow-ed by our ice cream cause he ploped himself on the sofa nxt to us immediately.
ask for his name and this was what he gotta say.
"my name is ian. my papa name is tay. combine tgt to become ian tay!"
wth!?! alright, freaking cute lar!
the whole time the parents were giggling away.
the nxt moment, he was playing "catch the candles'' and the new version of "scissors, paper, stone" with us.
like all of a sudden, the game has tornado, lightning, lasers and monsters!!! really too much lar.
HAHA...
i cant figure kids sometimes. their innocence and happiness makes me green with envy.

the sweeties bought me loads of goodies frm candy empire!
according to them, its the happy-jean day.
these pple are so full of nonsense...but they sure made my day :D
my eyes glowed (yeah literally) when i saw WONKA NERDS ROPE, JELLY BEANS, CADBURY BRUNCHBARS, UNCLE CHARLIE'S DOUBLE CHOCOCHIP COOKIES AND SOUR GLOWWORMS!!!
goodness gracious me.....
i feel like im floating in midair now. dies of ecstacy :D
u dont really see these rare stuffs in spore other then candy empire. all imported goods.
well, all i can say is u guys rock my socks lar. seriously. consider the fact that yh was willing to walk frm city hall to millenia walk just for this, its sufficient enough reason for me to feel touched.

theres no excuse for me to be grumpy and moody.
but when im alone, its a different story all over.

remind me to get OC season3, Lost season2 and you got served.
i may get wang zi bian qing wa for the enjoyment of my dad.

btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE!!!
love u lots pretty babe (:

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:57 AM

Friday, October 28, 2005 -

sitting in front of him is not a good idea after all.
i get so badly embarrassed cause he'll be able to spot my obvious mistakes. grrrr *sulks ):
and i had to play a solo 2 bars repeatedly so that he could sing 'we will rock you' to my beat?!?
like this is really insane lar!

did i mention that theres a new BEN & JERRY'S outlet at gwc.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*faints
:D
alright, potential job vacancy i guess.
i wont be surprised if i grew sideways after working there.
the next michellin (aye crap i dont know how to spell) will be me lor. you know the fat guy with a body that looks as though theres alot of tyres? thats the cool dude im talkin abt (:

promise promise of a better day.
promise of a greater hope.
promise of a new tomorrow.

for a while I was cleaner than now.
then I started to destroy myself with things that i love, now the things that i hate.
until it finally broke me.

fuck my ass.

choke me.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 10:46 PM

Thursday, October 27, 2005 -

Before you go, just listen.
Well I'm sorry,
For all the things I've done to you.
You know that I'm sorry
For all the things I've put you through.

You see I,
You see I never did realize how it must have felt in your eyes.
Complacency was my disguise,
Until the day that I found you.
Will I ever see the day,
When I turn around and say
Things shouldn't be this way.
But all I know is I feel all alone.

Do you remember the way it used to be,
I know you remember,
Maybe we could make it real.

Before you go, listen to the things i have to say.
Before you judge, don't you let your pain judge me this way.
Before you leave, give me just a second to explain
All the things I'm feeling inside.

And all I ever wanted
Was to be your hero.
And all I ever wanted
Was to be your friend.

i jumped at the sound of thunder cause its really freaking loud.
all of a sudden, the sky seems like an angry monster hunting for foood ):
ROARS.
so i grabbed my covers and duck beneath it.
safe and sound for now.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:24 PM

Wednesday, October 26, 2005 -

recently, i dont really want to dress well when im out.
speaking abt underdressed huh. tsk.
take today for example. i just had to wear my old nike top tgt with my plain jeans when my quiksilver top and 'crumpled' jeans were folded neatly in my cupboard.
yeah, i oughta get shot.

anw, met gin babe today! (:
we embraced each other in the middle of isetan. haha. like some long lost friends can. :D
that toot alr got the plans for the day. she became more efficient.
went to far east. she wanted to get butterflies to make her earrings.
omg, her craze over butterfly earrings are so not over yet.
its longer than i thought.
i need to hide all the butterfly earrings in the world so that she will abstain frm buying them. *nods (:
she showed me fried mars bar with ice cream!!! some shop at lv 1.
do u seee my saliva dropping?!
gooodness, i can imagine those warm caramel oozing out frm the bar...melting in my mouth. AHHHHH! i want!!! :D
totally lip-smacking alright!

oh oh OH! preorder my jay's album "November Chopin" at sembawang in cine!
((: *megawatt smile.
and the poster is HUGEEEEEE.
like WOW HE LOOK SO FREAKING COOL AND DIAO IN THE POSTER!!!
haha. now the only prob is finding a place to put it up.
guess i'll shift the smaller concert poster to the other side so i can have the entire wall to the album poster. yay.
im afraid i'll get a shock whenever i wake up cause jay's face will be right in front. the size is kinda intimidating.
alright, i think theres sth very wrong with me. going to a shrink might help?

then we went to eat potato wedges at friends cafe.
their serving is like eat-till-yr-stomach-explode that kind.
but we still enjoyed it though. goooodie (:
good value for money man.

headed to ps after that.
i would say we laughed our way there.
its just tooo hilarious, right gin? *winks :D
too tired to type out details lar.

click here karaoke for the deaf!
wth. amusing stuff pls. (: watched it over and over again. good way to kill boredom.

'You Got Served' is a pretty coool movie.
it just makes me go o_O with their oh-darn-cool moves.
now thats what we call DANCING. haha.
HOT BABY!

if you were me, you'll go 'somebody shoot me'.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:36 PM

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 -

rushed to gran hse at ard 8 in the morn.
i stayed behind to look after ah gong with my aunt's maid while the rest of them went to mandai crematorium to collect grans ashes.
well, being in the hse sets me thinking.
its like everything is left in the same place as it is before gran left,
but somehow i feel so empty and hollow.
kept hallucinating gran shouting at me to come and eat.
i know i'll never hear from her again. not anymore.
growls... what the hell is wrong with me!

i guess its time to move on.
those were gran's last words for me.
sighh ):

jay chou's ye qu mv is repeating on my windows player.
the lyrics totally fits my mood now.
its like telling my story on my behalf.
neverending and monotonous story rolling on tapes.
s l o w l y.

at least little things still perked me up.
like boon willing to burn OC season3 for me w/o me asking her.
gosh, im really touched to tears u know.
and then there is jo inviting me to nafa opera concert on fri.
wonder if i have the time to go.
havent seen her for some time. i miss that shit.

on a random note...
being away in a foreign country, far frm yr other half doesnt give u any right to look for another person where u fall in love all over again. tskk! 'i feel lonely' is not a freaking excuse pls.
kiss my ass lar.

i told u my mood changes so quickly like the tides.
ah whatever man.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:31 PM

Monday, October 24, 2005 -

hadnt had much slp for the last few nights. u could see our eyes swollen and puffy.
it has been a rollarcoaster ride full of ups and downs...
but, i feel a need to be here tonight.

throughout my whole 17 yrs on this planet called earth, i didnt quite know what is fear.
till yest when i saw my gran for the final time.
i could sense myself shaking so badly. my legs felt so wobbly i thought i was gonna collapse.
mum told me to be mentally prepared if i wanna see her.
god, was i scared.
i was the oldest grandchildren and somehow the responsiblity of seeing gran for the last time on behalf of the young ones fell on me.
pluck my courage and took the first step.
but i crumbled upon looking at her lying motionless in the coffin.
she didnt look like my gran at all.
i guess all the making up wasnt successful
cause it wasnt her.
my heart felt as though it was pricked by a million sharp needles, the pain was unbearable.
in my memory, my gran wasnt suppose to die in this tragic manner.
so i'll rather stick to the pretty image i had in my mind.

gran shaped me into a stronger and better person after this.
i apprectiate my life more and learnt to cherish my loved ones now. never take things for granted before something is lost.
this may sound cliche, but its true.
finally, i realised the men in our family are courageous and brave.
to protect the family and gran, uncle actually begged the freaking reporters to leave us alone.
he lost his pride and dignity for us.
my utmost respect for them.

to GEE: babe, you didnt flee when i was down and needed someone to hear me out. times when i was lonely and afraid, you were there to assure me and catch my tears. this path was tough but i had you. thats enough. yr msges nv fail to perk me up though i wasnt in the mood to joke. it leaves a warm tinging sensation in my heart to know u truly care for me. really thnks so much girl! heart you to the moon and back!

to ANNIE: i was really glad when i knew u were god damn worried abt how i was doing this while. you walked beside me and help me stand up on my feet. all i can say is thnk u...and still thnk u. truckloads of love!

to YINGHUEY: though life wasnt very good for you, you didnt leave me alone by the side. instead, you checked on me once in a while and showered yr love on me. jean really appreciates that! best duddy hearts u plenty.

to CHLOE: the distance betwn us didnt stop u from lending a helping hand. felt better when i knew i still had u guys to fall back on! i'll stay strong for all of u. miss you girl!

to JERRY, JO, JEWEL: thnks for all the reassuring msges (: my life wouldnt be complete w/o you!

to REST OF CLIQUE: theres so much i wanna say but i dont know how. hope u darlings can sense my heartfelt gratitude. i weren't alone after all. so u guys rock my world... *hugs tightly

as for those out there i didnt mention above,
i still LOVE YOU PEEPS for yr turned my rainy days into sunny days.
thank you.

and grandma...thank you too.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 12:46 AM

Thursday, October 20, 2005 -

it just gets harder every min and every sec.
im trying,


but i may not get through this after all.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:50 PM

Wednesday, October 19, 2005 -

today, i finally realise the true meaning of heart-broken. deep down inside i could hear the fragile thing breaking into a zillion pieces. and i dont think i can piece it back like it use to anymore.
it wont be the same anymore.

i saw my mum crying her heart out.
i heard my mum sobbing in the phone.
but i couldnt do anything.
i wanted to give her a hug and told her everything is fine.
but all i could feel was tears streaming down my face. uncontrollable.
mummy, im so sorry. at that point of time, i didnt know how to face u. didnt know how to console u. u can call me fucking useless and loser. cause i sense fear creeping in on me. slowly bit by bit. tearing my heart apart.

maybe hiding in a corner will be good for me.
the absolut is not taking effect.
throughout the day, grandma was talking to me. her spirit. her soul.
her smile was so vibrant. its stuck in my head for the rest of my life.
she told me i had to be a pillar of strenght in my family.
she told me she never blamed me for not visiting her regularly.
she told me she will always watch over all of us up there.
she told me to cry out loud and live on.
last of all, she told me her love will never die though shes not here.

its easier said than done.
this is tooo fast.
i cant believe this is happening to me.

last sun, she was still bubbly and cheerful.
i drank my fav soup she specially cooked for me.
i regret not drinking the whole damn pot.
suddenly its sinking into me that she was gone.
GONE FROM THIS EARTH.
MY BELOVED GRANDMA WHO I FUCKING HAD NO COURAGE TO TELL HER THAT I LOVE HER WAS GONE.

will someone pls teach me what to do.
my headache is killing me!!!
my sis asked me why i was crying and i didnt know how to answer her.

my grandfather is really weak and bedridden.
hows he gonna take this devastating news when he couldnt bear to be apart frm gran a lil while?
im so afraid of losing him.
every now and then, i get so paranoid i had to call home to check on him.
to see if he was surviving well.

i will miss her calling out 'jean' as 'zean'.
i will miss her shouting and screaming cause thats the way we communicate.
i will miss her yummilcious soup.
i will miss her care, patient and love when she babysit me when i was a baby.
i will miss her laughter.
i will miss teaching her how to pronounce 'plaza singapura' correctly.
i will miss challenging her to endless basketball matches.
i will miss the way she smiles whenever she does sth wrong.
i will miss EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING ABT HER.

grandma, this is for you. (:
*force a bright smile

so wat if i keep myself busy and try not to think tooo much.
it will suddenly occur to me again.
tears starts falling and the cycle repeats.
i just cant stop thinking abt it.

just when i started to make a effort to go visit my grandma weekly,
god must play this terrible joke on me.
what a unfair world.
i learnt not to take my loved ones for granted and i paid a heavy price for it.

AND ALL I CAN SAY IS FUCK YOU.

all i want for christmas... is my grandma.

i dont bloody recognise myself anymore.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:27 PM

Tuesday, October 18, 2005 -

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 9:42 PM

Monday, October 17, 2005 -

PS, I Love You - Cecelia Ahern
Man And Boy- Tony Parsons
Dont Read This Book If You're Stupid- Tibor Fischer
Escape From Bridezilla- Jacqueline Demont

books i just borrowed frm the library.
well, ps i love u is pretty seerrrwweeett. awww (:
guess i'll stay up late tonight to finish it. im in the mood to read.
yeahh, WOW jean! feel so intellectual suddenly...

can barely wait to get my hands on jay's 6th album "november's chopin'!!!
i shall wake up early in the morn and rush to the nearest cd shop to get it! :D
yay! oh and i just heard the debut on yes 933. LALALA.

wth! ANTM start alr lar!
byeeeee (:

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 10:33 PM

Sunday, October 16, 2005 -

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 10:10 PM

Saturday, October 15, 2005 -

sometimes its hard for me. with both of you in my face all the time.
how on earth am i suppose to react?
i wish you start to appreciate me for who i am.
enough said.

maybe if i put on a brave front,
nobody would noticed anything.
life will be much better for both of us.
the distance drift further apart...
we seem like strangers.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 10:57 PM

Friday, October 14, 2005 -

marche-ed with hc and yh today.
ate crepes and rosti :D they were pretty amazed that i could finished the whole plate of rosti with hunter sausage. why u JEALOUS ah? (:
sher cut her hair tooo. at my hairdresser place at far east.
currently, MY hairdresser is becoming THEIR hairdresser. so i assume business is better than usual now. he shld give me a free haircut someday to thank me alright (: so far i only received one pathetic sweet frm him. baskeettttt.

wanted to find the "A Date With The Vampire 3" vcd. walked to sembawang but they didnt have it. so u can imagine 4 crazy kiddos whining and grumbling in town. *SULKS.
but bravissimo ice cream made up for it!!! wheeeee (:
i had BON BON ROCHER.....
*beams*
aye, my dream job used to be a ice cream man leh. like how cool is that?

kept snapping away with sher's camera.
and hc's pus filled piercing photo is erm.... so NOT nice. haha
like u just give us a cam, we can keep ourselves entertain for hrs (:
thats us for u.
newton was under renovation. so our plan to go there for supper failed. tskkkkkk. oh nooooooo! stingrayy!!! ):

see lar u toot yinghuey! i freaked out when yr mum called me you know! HAHAH and she was like 'do u know where is yh?'. oooooops
to think u act angry and divert all yr calls. are u feeling guilty anot?!
u nehneh...

off to watch the EUROPEAN GIGGLO!!! :D *claps
shit, its M18 but im only a 17 yr old innocent girl.
damnit! will the police come my hse and put me into jail?
i better go watch now.
night dudes.

i want to fall in love with you all over again.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:32 PM

Thursday, October 13, 2005 -

why is european gigglo M18?!?!
why is the 40 year old virgin M18 tooo!?
tskkkkkkkkk. they really purposely dont let me watch can.
nvm, i shall go JB and buy ALLLLLLL the pirated vcds!
and watch till i have heavy eyebags.
(:

my p6 sis claims she wanna watch them too. o_O
like HUHHHH?!?
u are only primary six for gods sake. haven go thru puberty yet, how to watch such sexual-content shows!AHHA
pls lar, i was watching those stupid cartoons at the age of 12. well, i think my sis isnt exactly in her right state of mind.

earlier on she asked me what was virgin....
my eyes widened and my jaw almost dropped.
i didnt know how to answer her so i just stared at her with the i-dunno-how-to-say-and-i-dont-think-you-shld-know look (: crazy i tell u. im so sorry man. just didnt wanna corrupt yr pure and innocent mind *winks

"SOMEONE WHO NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE!"

my mum is super big mouth. but its ultra funny cause my sis expression was reallllly damn weird. HAHA. wowww, i didnt know my family was so open. and mind u she said that very loud.got at least 7854391 decibels. my neighbours downstairs could hear it LOUD AND CLEAR. (: good for them man.

anw, i suddenly feel so lazy to blog. tooo much sex talk is bad for health. *shakes head.
i havent step into the theatres for 10 yrs ):

anybody wanna get me the COLOURSPLASH LOMO CAM??? its soooo funkaee mama. *prays hard. ilove!
the person who gets it for jean will receive...
.
.
erm
.
.
.
.
a HUGE HUG frm me?!
alright i guess that doesnt worth alot eh. WAILS.

you cant change me, and everything is MY fault.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 9:53 PM

yes yes i almost forgot!
kiteflying, marina steamboat, stayover , prata, kbox!!!
WHOOHOOOOO (:
are u game for this?

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 12:05 AM

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 -

hello, today was really a fun-filled, unforgetable day :D

drop by gin's place in the morn. i actually made it to her condo all by myself despite only been there once! wahh, i cant help it if im so brilliant (: anw we watched " SLAPPY AND THE STINKERS"! teribbly amusing and hilarious show i tell u...
well, slappy is the sealion and stinkers is this bunch of really cute kids. sth like the little rascals! goshh. theres this part where they fastened the propellar and generator to this desk chair so that it will FLY. or rather glide.

littlegirl: "you're gonna be the first kid to fly in the deskchair!"
boyinchair: " im gonna die in a deskchair."
HAHAHHA!
wat the fishhhh. (:

we ordered kfc and gorged like 2 pigs. but reallly damn nice. ilove. oh! and we watched the recorded america's nxt top model! when brittany shouted "SHUDUUUPPP' at keeyna, gin and me synchronised and did with her! omg lar! and u have to do it the right way. and that is to make ur mouth into a big O shape while shaking yr head side to side. (: okay i do feel like a bimbo. hmmm... then we crazy taxi-ed for a while. laughed our ass off at the WHAT in the starting of Goodies Lethal Weapon, Ciara f. Petey Pablo! its great entertainment okay? (:

went on to meet my dearest clique. everyone turned up today! (: like WOWWW. this is such a miracle. haha jk man. ek, horse, sy, yh, yihan, reylere, mich, mad, jowei and me! i went all the way to centrept and got the october babes balloons. yeahh almost chose the spongebob and patrick one lar! its so ultra cute. reallly. however its like abit too childish for a 17 yr old. and so i left the shop with 2 precious moments star balloons and 1 sweet bear balloon! (: my taste isnt that bad after all, you cant deny right? *winks

walkkkkkk all the way back to heeren. WITH THE 3 HUGE BALLOONS. i dont care lor. the 3 of yr better keep the balloons in proper state! prob frame it up and hang on the wall. (:
slack at the fountain for the rest to turn up. played reylere's psp too :D some car racing game. but its kinda hard. i rem avoiding knocking into the walls more then driving. yess my skills really suck.
entered marche when ek turned up (:

that horse like took 10 godzillion yrs to come lar! i almost zZZzZ. tsk! yihan and huilin had to take turns to hurry her. haha. as usual we pigged out and talk abt nonsensical and rubbish stuffs.
somehow or rather, most of them ate crepe today!?! like i dunno why the sudden craze for crepes! and not to mention, mad's "salmon stingray" o_O. suppose to be "sambal stingray" in case u guys didnt realised. hehe (: got ekkk a bday banana crepe! sang her a bday song tooooo (: awwww how serrweeet.

oh! here comes the highlight of the day!!!
we prank called mich's morning-call-guy! just this guy that keeps msging, trying to chase mich. duhhhh! of course mich dont like. and we kept searching ard for someones phone who had the loudspeaker functions. really too much lor. he has 2 numbers. we prankcalled the first one. he didnt ans! we concluded that he only uses that particular no to harass our dearest mich. cause apparently mich says he msg her with that no?!? no wonder he didnt pick up his damn phone lar! annoying freakkkkk. wahhhh mich, he very faithful worzzzzz.
HAHAHA

but we were so darn high we didnt gave up like that.
yihan volunteered her phone to let us prank call his other no! and reylere was the 'lucky' one to talk to him.
warning: the below converstaion may cause you to die frm excessive laughing...

reylere: " do u rem me? im the girl frm yr class next door?
stupidguy: " uh huh"
reylere: " short hair one. wear specs one."
stupidguy: " uh huh."
reylere: " and i think i liked u!"
OMGGGGGGGGGGGG REALLLY ULTRA FUNNY
reylere: " me hui deng ni de worxxx..."
im proud of reylere for her courage and bravery. *do a thumbs up sign.

AAAHHAH
i was laughin so hard that i almost rolled off my chair!
*faints. no joke okay!
sorry abt the ah lian language lar. but he DOES speaks like this so we had to return in the same manner. its basic courtesy right?!? (:
HILARIOUS SHIT!

okay anw after dinner we just chatted outside the fountain AGAIN. i know, its our fav place cannnot ah? dismissed at ard 9 plus i guess.
we bid goodbyes with "me hui xiang ni de worxxx." (: hhaa

we all so addicted to the " worx" and "siaaaz" i tell u. u dont believe? heres the evidence.

you will never walk alone~another wonderful day with my dearest friends!! says:
wo hao ai ni men worxxxx

'teenage dirtbag says:
cute woRRRZZz

you will never walk alone~another wonderful day with my dearest friends!! says:
me always online de worxxx

SEEEEEEEEE. im stating the facts alright (:

wah lao... i just love the bengs and lianxx language. its like how entertaining worx. yr must master it man. (:

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:00 PM

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 -

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY EGGGG!!!
(okie im risking my life calling you that. HIDES)

i know u are super excited abt yr bday lar :D pls dont get so highhhhh man. aye u 17 alr lor. must stop bullying pple like me! always call me mean bean jean machine. tsk! however, i still love u as much cause watching u is like watching a action-packed cum comedy cum dramatic movie screening!!! (: HAHA. this woman crack me up big time i tell u! serious. (:

wells, get ready for hell lot of wild time tml! pigging out session i must say! (: YAY! WHEEEEEEEE! oh and i get to see yr new oh-so-darn-cool digi cam...

i may be surrounded by a million people,
but i still feel alone.
and i feel like im leading someone elses life.
dont ask me how and why.
i've got no answer to those questions.
theres this timebomb in my head ticking away.
all i can do is sit and wait for it go off.
fuck those emotions.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:08 PM

Monday, October 10, 2005 -

u know wat? i nv knew my family members were THAT scheming and sly and cunning and horrible till today...

it started out in the afternoon when my loves-to-experiment-with-jelly-powder mama made peach flavoured jelly. and yeah it was a new brand which our whole family hadnt tried before. the whole time i was being a retarded asshole yay-ing and whee-ing away.my sis and i were super duper excited abt the jellies lar! :D cause i expected it to turn out fantabulous?

but omg lar i was so wrong!
it was terribly horriGible! to think it looks so tempting and mouth-watering in the nice crystal cup. grrrrr. *SULKS
i learnt my lesson: looks are deceiving.

alright thats not the MAIN pt though i was really disgusted by the freaking jelly. well u can call me a 'jelly monstor' or whatever u want. i can like finish the whole supply of jelly in the fridge in ONE day.
ALLLL BY MYSELF! (: haha

and so that explains why they all always so protective over some WIBBLY WOBBLY JELLLY. hhaa. i received their same reaction today so i thought nth suspicious abt it.
butttttt when i start taking the jelly out frm the fridge, all of them burst out laughing. hysterically laughing i mean. and i was still super proud that i get to eat the last 2 cups of jelly. beaming frm ear to ear regardless of their laughter. my face was like :D.

i toook a big bite. and i knew wat was wrong.
*(&%$*&$%!*^&#@+
WAT THE F***!
the damn jelly tasted like detergent! growls
plus they purposely left the 2 cups of jelly in the fridge to con me into eating it!!!
they threw the rest of the jelly away upon their first bite.
boy, i feel silly! ):

shitified piece of shit lar.
shall abstain frm jelly for 2 mths.

okay, i changed my mind to 2 wks.
omg that was quick wasnt it?
HAHA (:
my love for jelly can conquer the highest mountains and deepest oceans.






is this cute or cute?
:)







i knew i loved u even before i met u.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:45 PM

Sunday, October 09, 2005 -

my fav desk partner GIN has got a new blog!!! :D
gone were the depressed, down and emotional ginny. now the crazy bubbly, vibrant girl is back to kick some ass! whoohooo! guys watch yr backs(:
and if u happen to hyperventilate and die while reading thru her blog. dont blame me. its not my fault.
but im just super uber ultra happy for her (: its like finally i see some colours in her life.

i sense her smile/laugh like she really mean it.
i see her as a stronger person now.
i think the old ginny is here to stay...

all in all, u have no idea how proud i am girl! :D i believed u, and u def didnt disappoint me. 'girls of new destiny' quoted by annie! HIP HIP HURRAY!
well, im so god damn looking forward to this sat! nienie outing (: i love.
love u to bits and pieces lar. *cuddles.
i want to kope yr crazyyyyyy taxi game!

annie is very PRO-zara. it just amuses me how whenever she steps into zara, she nv fails to get sth frm there 80% of the time. HAHA. seriously. why not u go work part time there. most prob get staff discount.
okay i know u are gonna say 'SHHUUDUPPP'.

she made my mom's day by agreeing that the prok ribs she cooked were yummilicious. u shld have seen my mom's face. she was like beaming frm ear to ear lar! tsk! (: oh! annie doesnt eat shark fins. she refuse to break her 2 yrs record. wth!
pls go and knock the wall now.

3 more days to clique outing.
7 more days to nienie outing.
i could hardly contain the excitement within me.
((:
((:

i was dying inside to hold you.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 10:37 PM

Saturday, October 08, 2005 -

towned today with best duddy and hc :D
but yh was freakin late for 40 mins. o_O and so hc went to cut her hair at far east. now her hair get to see the world again! dont have to hide under the cap. well done dude! (:
walked to cine's pastamania for dinner.
and i had spicy chicken pasta. darn filling. *burpsss
catched up on stuffs since we havent met up with yh during promos. overall it was goood (: just the "sex education' talk abit scared me off only eh? HAHA...
oh! had 3 games of air hockey!!! i love!
but me and yh lost to hc alllllllllll 3. damn disappointing. i need to reflect later.

its like their so called 'piercing day' today. at heeren tattoo shop, hc changed her lip stud to the ring one. ouchhhhh lar. looking at the piercer talking out the stud was scary ): then walked all the way to wisma bits and pieces. yh got her upper part of the ear pierced. gosh! to them its the kick that counts. hilarious shit.

sat down at coffee bean for drinks and more talks.
talking is a goood way of spending time okay (:
left town at ard 10. yeahhh.

i get this feeling that im losing the people close to my heart.
slowly bit by bit. one by one.
as hard as i tried to fight it, it wouldnt go away.
sit and pray for me.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:10 PM

Friday, October 07, 2005 -

stupid siva (alliteration. ha!) called me in for work last min this morning. grumbles.
but not his fault lar cause i didnt ans his call yesterday. ooops soory dude! :D
work was boring as usual la. chat with the new part-timers too. kinda amusing pple i would say. she was so bored till she starts tying knots in her hair for entertainment?!?! hilarious shit! (:

and i ate plain Zinger burger frm KFC for lunch!
wow, 300 calories added to the calorie counter eh. tsk! damn u fat jean!

oh! theres a bday party today too! haha. some korean family who i assumed travels around the world cause they speak perfecto fluent english. darn cool. still got slang man!
and the kids are even richer then me. wth! theres this pair of sis who wore CROCODILE polo tees and LEVIS KIDS JEANS. i abit shocked lor.
gosh wear LEVIS JEANS at the age of 5?! must be outta yr mind pple!
cant rem wat i wore at that young age. bet it was some childish and retarded clothes where u find at pasar malam. mebbe going for 10 bucks for 2 tops. HAHHA. horrible taste i know. just kidding lar! (:
and a few boys had nice betulas!!! *faints. quick dial for the ambulance, im hyperventilating.
wah lao so rich. aye ask yr mama to get me the brown birkenstocks dudes! pls thank you very much (:
jeremy is ultra cuteeeeeee (: his hair is curly wurly like adam brody! omg he sucha pretty boy!!! i couldnt stop staring at him :D

anw i went for classes. hc was late for like 20 mins. asssholee.

and wat happened after that just
FREAK
THE
HELL
OUTTA
ME!!!

i swear it was the most traumatising experience i ever had...
hc and i were going down the escalator into taka departmental store. the stationary and pots and pan level. hc heard this couple behind talkin abt some stuffs lar. prob like 1 or 2 metres away. but i didnt hear anything. so she just randomly made a 'you are crazy' action. erm... you know like draw a circle ard yr ear with yr index finger. aiyar, you guys get it right? apparently she saw her doing that. then she happily stalked us out of the wholeee department store till macs that area. gosh. super freaky!

she confronted hc. like 'aye why u so kaypoh? u say who mad ah?'
hc replied her sth like ' did i say it was you? u didnt so please dont accuse others. i can sue u for that alright!' yeah something along that line. all the while i was standing by the side. stunned for words. my face was o_O. i mean it guys. dont laugh.
we cant be bothered with her, so we just walk away.
BUT the NIGHTMARE BEGINS.
she went to push hc frm the back! omg! wonder where she get the courage frm. i knew that the lady is gonna die a horrible death. *shakes head. being the impulsive hc, she retaliated. they started throwing punches at each other!!! basket! i had to pull that girl back man. she was so full of anger/angsty i tell u. her punches are no jokes okay!
the lady is damn strong also lor! not only did she use her hands, she used her legs too! totally nuts. she used her handbag to whack hc on the side of her face. tsk! and hc specs flew to the floor. all the time i was holding on to her.
the nxt moment she start to run away! to the other entrance of the department store. that hc zoomed after her rightaway like thunderbolt! haha. collided into this poor innoncent man on the phone. still fighting leh! i had so much trouble restraining her! luckily the man intervened and stop both of them.
phewwwww. thank god man.
omg this is ultra scary! *shudders.
well, im so sorry if i gave the lady a chance to whack u on the face. just cant stand there and not do anything right?! hope theres no swelling man. (: wait till i get my black belt in takewando, i'll stand up for u.

plus i concluded the lady is mentally unstable:
firstly, who in the right state of mind will chase anyone just because of a random gesture?! and even pick a fight! the world is full of weird pple...
secondly, she started the fight and tried to ran off? huhhhhhhh. it doesnt make any sense to me at all.

wowwwww. this is a very long entry. haha(:

cause forever is a long time, to be without you in my life.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 10:03 PM

Thursday, October 06, 2005 -

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY anniePOK!!! (:

you 17 alr lar. must start acting yr age alright?
and theres isnt anything to be afraid abt turning 17. finally growing up!
i mean like if occasionally u wanna act stupid and retarded, you know i'll be here for you. well, couldnt imagine crescent days w/o the nienies. u guys made me look forward to sch every single day (: and i know shouting into each other ears is our unique way of bonding. theres just this fuzzy feeling in my heart to know that you will still be standing nxt to me at the end of the day.

though we arent in the same ach anymore and i cant be there for u physically like before. whatever happens just give me a call. i will come to you like at a speed of 8973137546916 km/hr. i promise (:

love u truckloads babe!
nienie outing soon yeah? YAY (:

yinghuey ah! wheres INITAL D?! u toot!
and ek! u better get ready the more than words guitar tabs. dun forget i tell u. if not... erm no bday present for you! LALALA *sticks out tongue(:

updating that horse on lost now. shes like a helpless and lost sheep in the middle of the greens. told her to get the vcd frm me and watch. HAHA. so many things happen lar. i cant even god damn rem! and being my cute-guys rival, obviously she was totally devastated to find out ian died ):
oh gosh, im gonna start whining and grumbling like a bimbo.
whatever! *rolls eyes 360 degrees.

jean is craving for marina steamboat :D
jean wants to go sentosa to tan.
jean wants to go play AIR HOCKEY!!! my skills will soon go rusty. sad sad thing eh ):

so long you're gone, this is the break-up song.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 10:12 PM

Wednesday, October 05, 2005 -

no work for the whole of this wk.
theres new part-timers so on-the-job trng. enough staffs for the wk.
its a good thing cause i get to laze in bed till 10 before finally forcing myself outta bed :D wahhh sweeet dreams.
on the other hand its a bad thing. no income this wk! how on earth am i going to survive man. *faints.

oh wells, im losing all my energy and determination to work.
weeks goes by. months goes by. it just gets harder.
maybe i shld take a break.
maybe not.

and promos are halfway through! wheeee (:
promos are just physically and mentally draining lar.
definitely looking forward to this weekend!
celebrate all the october babes birthdays too.

they tell me your blue skies fade to grey,
and i dont need no carrying on.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:10 PM

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 -

uol sent me back my documents and inform me that i dont 'statisfy the normal requirements' ?!?!
wat the freak lar.
and they're such niceeeeeee pple cause they happily inform me now only when the deadline is like this wk. thats like how helpful.
plus they koped my 45 pounds!!! its pounds for goodness sake!
gosh.
so infuriating! im gonna burnt down UOL soon. grrrrr ):

Pearl MasterSeries! (: my x'mas wish. where's santa?

anw, i had the jap seaweed chicken for dinner. instantly reminded of crescent days.
cause our class pple always sneak out in betwn lessons to go buy nuddgets and seaweed chicken frm the canteen. damn hilarious.
and whoever the poor fellow is always returns with big bags of fried food. HAHA (: not to mention a hard time getting back to class w/o being noticed by the blur tchers.
sigh.
those were the happy days.
those were the carefree days.
those were the unforgettable days.
those were the days i miss.

CRESCENT DAYS WERE INDEED EXCITING.

shucks! the ice hockey show is starting!
takuya kimura here i come! :D
bye for now.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 7:13 PM

Monday, October 03, 2005 -

its raining outside my hse now.
i love rainy days.
pitter-patter raindrops...
beautiful sight (:
my mind is blank as i stoned out of the window.
seriously, i feel much comfortable after that.

its not missing you that hurts,
its knowing i once had you in my life that does.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:52 PM

Sunday, October 02, 2005 -

It's going down where no one can see.
It's a sad sad sight.
The feeling just gets stronger I see you,
I just put on a smile.
I try to cover it up.
But I can't take it too much longer.

How come no matter how much you treat me like shit, I can't help loving you even more?

I hate you and then I love you. it's like I want to throw you off a cliff....then rush to the bottom to catch you.
random-ness.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:51 PM

Saturday, October 01, 2005 -

im eating nissin mushroom chicken cup noodles now. my dinnerrr! the noddles are half-cooked, ingredients still hard. and i taste traces of milk in it?! wth.
it still taste esp yummy though (: didnt eat it for a long time alr. the amt of msg they put in the noodles is enough to scare me. haha

jean is always a homeless kid.
well...on saturdays i mean.
family will go to grandma hse and come back at only 10pm.
im not being lazy but its like fcuking far?!! at BEDOK. prob i set off in the morn, i reach at night ah. hurhur.

and so im terribly sorry for being so troublesome and calling all my friends in my contact list for a place to stay till its 10. cause i happily dont have the damn hse keys lar. u go blame my paranoid mama. GOGOGO (:
yes jean is irritating.
yes jean is annoying.
yes jean is troublesome.
yes jean is apologetic.
bear with me.

anniePOK came my hse for mugging session.
we tan and study under the SCORCHING sun. sweating as though we just took a cooling bath. unbearable heat i tell u!
of course that annie got all red after that. nothing happen to me lor! didnt get any darker. tskkkkk* grumbles.
it was quite productive cause she finished most of her maths sums. yeahh. so sure she will get an A for that sub. right annie? :D

bathe and headed to town after that.
fcuk supposedly had a sale but apparently i dont see any sales item there. just some real cool and attitude models doing their stuffs before the glass windows.
oh! that annie bought a WH shorts and these nike running top. (:
and i got my 'ilovepets' guess top.
its NICEEEEE.
wheeee!
sense my happiness(:
*beams

damnnn. october is like the birthday month lar.
gonna be so broke man. after all the presents and all.
okay, jean start saving man!
must control lar!

yeahh! promos are ending in a wks time! i cant wait to go out with all the babesssss. AHHA.
HANG IN THERE PEOPLE! (:

So hold me close and say three words like you used to do.

jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 8:08 PM

=dudettes= ANNIE boon cheryl ching GIN hailin huimin imelda janessa jasmine jewel jiaern jiayi jo laura nikki peihan serping seowf sher shi shuping tiff xinyun
chloe-selfproclaimedQUEEN
ek-thehappyEGG
yh-bestDUDDY

=group= theGanges

=eye-opener= www.jeanthemean.myphotoalbum.com www.flickr.com/photos/jeanmean
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