Tuesday, October 25, 2005 -
rushed to gran hse at ard 8 in the morn. i stayed behind to look after ah gong with my aunt's maid while the rest of them went to mandai crematorium to collect grans ashes.well, being in the hse sets me thinking.its like everything is left in the same place as it is before gran left,but somehow i feel so empty and hollow.kept hallucinating gran shouting at me to come and eat.i know i'll never hear from her again. not anymore.growls... what the hell is wrong with me!i guess its time to move on. those were gran's last words for me.sighh ):jay chou's ye qu mv is repeating on my windows player.the lyrics totally fits my mood now. its like telling my story on my behalf. neverending and monotonous story rolling on tapes.s l o w l y.at least little things still perked me up.like boon willing to burn OC season3 for me w/o me asking her.gosh, im really touched to tears u know.and then there is jo inviting me to nafa opera concert on fri. wonder if i have the time to go.havent seen her for some time. i miss that shit.on a random note...being away in a foreign country, far frm yr other half doesnt give u any right to look for another person where u fall in love all over again. tskk! 'i feel lonely' is not a freaking excuse pls. kiss my ass lar.i told u my mood changes so quickly like the tides.ah whatever man.
jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:31 PM
