Monday, December 04, 2006 -
Without music life would not be fair.current mood: unstable, temperamental, bitchy, moody.wah lao, i can hear the unit 2 floors down playing mahjong. super loud!ARGHHH.the banging of the tiles on the mahjong tables.the shuffling of mahjong tiles. oh please, give me a break will ya?ah crapppp.u know, the things bottled inside have finally begun to create so much pressure.that i think i will soon blow up.its bothering me like nobody's business while i kept shoving it to the back of my mind.they never learned a goddamn thing, don't they?i try to keep a distance from everyone on this planet.well, i thought it used to be working fine. however, it doesnt seem to be the case now. sometimes, i believe people are so caught up in their own little dark morbid world.that they like it in there. everything revolves around themselves.oh my, its scares the shit out of me.they get hella busy like a bumblebee. juggling work, school, social life together.probably as skilled as a circus clown putting up a juggle balls show. i don't know.before u know, someone special comes along and sweep them off their feets.as much as i don't want to admit, its true they tend to be all lovey dovey high on love, forgetting those they should not forget.the extent just differs for everyone.okay, i'm not dissing anyone here, no offence to anyone.i just want to let it all out. in reality, there's no such bloody thing as "sticking with you through thick and thin" or "i'll never leave you".i mean, come on, its so not mentally and physically possible for someone to stay, conquer odds and share happiness with you 24 hours 7 days a week.face it people!its not like all of us don't have enough problems on our hands.we all adore freedom. we all need some personal space to breathe.at some point of your life, your so-called important people close to you may sidetrack for a while.and i guess once they sort out their thoughts, they will return back to where they ought to be.inevitable and goodness i'm not blaming anyone. nobody at all i swear.unfortunately, the sad part is some wander off....and never ever did return.omg, man is pathetic. i am pathetic.would some kind soul please enlighten me tonight.if only we all had the courage to take the first step and open up.instead of waiting for others to get the ball rolling.and maybe only after that the "sticking through thick and thin" will actually work out.all that energy and effort within me is depleting so quickly.its kinda like a one way street thing.for now, i don't wanna give a shit about everything.leave me alone.these are supposed to be, like, the easiest days of our lives. i mean, we're supposed to be in there with our friends, you know, coming up with ridiculous drinking games and making each other laugh. i think we all kind of figured out that the real world is a pretty crappy place, so whats the rush in getting there? what an irony, isn't it?cause i belong to all the groups of people mentioned above except the getting swept off my feet part.
jeanthemean
cried her heart out at 11:24 PM
